Memoirs Of A Homemaker

A poem to my firstborn baby, who began a giver, and remains so today….your hand began open and your heart as well.  The fragrance of life’s bouquet, may not have been your choice,  and in spite of flowers that quickly fade, others remain vibrant with a sweet aroma, making the fading of the few, not even matter….

I recently found “French Women Don’t Get Fat” and I realize that this would work for me using it with luxury low carb lifestyle, so I will be using these principles to take my plan up a notch, and still stay away from white flour and sugar…..but oh how I love the French attitude of enjoyment and savoring the food.
Having recently spent a month in France, I have come to the conclusion that the French are sneaky. They eat three-course meals with gorgeous sauces, drink red wine constantly, have no apparent shame availing themselves of those sinful French pastries, pâté, and cheeses, and yet still remain?—?by American standards?—?thin. And rarely will you see those French guys or gals sweatily jogging down the boulevard; they just walk about looking very stylish.

If you don’t trust my observational skills, try these stats on for size: Only 11 percent of the French population qualifies as obese, while we almost triple that percentage mark here in the land of plenty. Furthermore, the French eat three times as much saturated animal fat as Americans do and only a third as many die of heart attacks.

I have long heard about this French Paradox, and after a month of fluffy croissants full of almond paste and copious amounts of French rouge du maison, I was certain it was all a bunch of bull. To prove the point, I immediately mounted my bathroom scale upon returning home. Imagine my shock when I discovered that after a month of French gastronomic debauchery (and no organized exercise regimen) I only gained one pound!

So if it isn’t Splenda, no-carb PowerBars, or an obsession with spinning classes, what’s their secret?

I consulted Santa Barbara’s own expert on the subject, Laurence Hauben, herself a lovely Frenchwoman who actually helps people learn about the French way with food in her Market Foray classes (marketforays.com). According to Laurence, it’s all about the lifestyle.

“The French don’t traditionally wolf down a meal at their desk or while commuting in traffic,” she said. “They sit down with family or colleagues at a table, taking the time to relax and share conversation. When you are talking, you are not eating, and because you are relaxed, the hormones released help in the assimilation of calories, unlike the stress hormones we are riddled with here, which trigger hoarding of fat. In other words, eat 800 calories while sitting at a café in Paris, and they will get spent. Eat 800 calories while sitting in your car in traffic on the freeway, and most of them will settle in your hips or gut.”

Mireille Guiliano, author of the recent bestseller French Women Don’t Get Fat, would no doubt agree with Hauben. In her book, she emphasizes the importance of savoring one’s food and how this directly contributes to a cornerstone of the French diet: portion control. I realize this is a very un-American concept, but it does seem to work. The French way is not about deprivation. Their main dishes are bathed in lush sauces, their desserts are irresistible culinary masterpieces. They make the effort to make sure their food is fresh and flavorful, with the payoff that their satisfaction?—?and most importantly, their satiation?—?will come from quality instead of quantity.

According to Hauben, the French Paradox isn’t a paradox at all, but a logical consequence of the traditional French way of life, which is less materialistic, less driven. “We need to slow down, think about our priorities, and ask ourselves what the point is of an expensive kitchen remodel when we don’t take the time to cook, and why we work so hard that we never have time to see the people we love,” she said. “Maybe if we traded some of our discretionary income for discretionary time, that would be the true luxury.”

Taking the time to prepare meals with fresh ingredients, walking to the markets to buy those ingredients, and then actually sitting down with friends and family to savor the meal? Now that’s a start.

“If we want to lose weight, we need to make a choice to enjoy life more,” said Hauben…..

Today, I had a former daycare girl stop in for a visit and it was a little bit of heavenly joy to remember her preschool days with her.  She had a look of joy recalling it, and then she remembered organizing the toy closet and how frustrating it was to see the kids make a mess in it soon after it was cleaned.  I thought “Don’t I know it!!!”  I opened the same closet to show her it STILL was in need of organization, she laughed!!  She seemed impressed with the new Butterscotch Pony, and our operational John Deer tractor the kids ride inside the house…..I realized once again I made the right choice in occupations, because if I had been the ultimate Flight Attendant, twelve years later I would not have had a satisfied passenger stop by.  I know more than ever the value of ENJOYING children, and letting them know they are valueable, setting limits, and being an example (Most of the Time) of calm, consistent, caring….that just might be copied by them .  I give God the glory for endowing me with the patience and the fortitude to have done childcare all these years.  I have truly with all my heart enjoyed each child that I have opened my heart to.  The ones I did not have the patience for I said goodbye to, and somehow they are still in my heart and my prayers…..God bless all the children I ever have known. 

Your Divine Valentine

A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest love song in the universe.

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The Lord your God… will rejoice over you with gladness, He will keep you quiet with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17
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A Valentine may give you flowers,
 but God sent you the most beautiful rose of all, Jesus.

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I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.

Song of Solomon 2:1
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A Valentine may take you out to dinner,
but God has invited you to the most amazing feast ever given.

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Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!

Revelation 19:9
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A Valentine may bring you chocolate,
but God provides you with something even sweeter, His Word.

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How sweet are your words to my taste,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!

Psalm 119:103
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A Valentine may be far away,
 but God is always with you.

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I am with you always.

Matthew 28:20
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A Valentine may give you something,
but God has given you everything.

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God gives us richly all things to enjoy.

1 Timothy 6:17
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A Valentine may love you for a lifetime,
but God loved you before you were born and will love you for all eternity!

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Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love… with loving-kindness I have drawn you.

Jeremiah 31:3
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                                             MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece. Please
read this at a slow pace, digesting every word and in
Leisure…do not hurry….this is a treasure…

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
this is beautiful. For those of us who aren’t, this is
even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you’ll love this.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. ‘Is
this the long way?’ she asked. And the guide said: ‘Yes, and the way is hard
And you will be old before you reach the end of it.. But
the end will be better than the beginning.’

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years.. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
‘Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.’

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
‘Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come.’

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.But at all times she said to the children,’ A little patience and we are there.’
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, ‘Mother, we would not have done it without you.’

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, ‘This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage..
Today, I’ve given them strength.’

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: ‘Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.
‘ And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
‘This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God.’

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
mother said, ‘I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end
is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them.’

And the children said, ‘You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.’
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: ‘We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence…….’

Your Mother is always with you…. She’s the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she’s the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she’s the cool hand
on your brow when you’re not well.. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she’s crystallized in every tear drop.
She’s the place you came from, your first home; and
she’s the map you follow with every step you take. She’s your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space… not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS  & CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED…

Pass it on to the men too because they have mothers too

In spite of the issues going on at home, Mom was most often home when we got home from school…..the smell of homemade bread,  vegetable beef soup cooking, and rice pudding with lots of cinnamon ……my Mom was an awesome cook, as was my Grandma, and though times might have been difficult financially, there was always food in the cupboard, fridge, and on the table…The focus in our home was on survival and love….the words were not spoken in fact my Mom only said I love you very rarely, and no kisses except for a gift or a major goodbye event.  Still, we knew we were loved and would be defended with all the life Mom had in her, against any foe.  She was frail in health, but strong in Spirit, and her help came from the Lord.  She was a true closet prayer warrior, not a great church attender, but her faith was in Jesus Christ, and her hope was in God Almighty who she turned to daily…..She said she did not know what she would do without Him…..Mom was 40 years old when I was born, and she was 73 when she died.  At 33 years old, I was lost without her for awhile.  Now I simply draw on her memory for courage, strength and conviction.  Love always, was her signature.  Ditto Mom.

“That Girl”   Marlo Thomas was the  popular TV show, and though many girls my age loved the Beatles and Rollin Stones, I identified and admired Marlo Thomas for her adventure in the city and her style and her many glamorous outfits and I copied her hairstyle.  I dreamed of leaving small town Forest Lake for the life in New York or LA, and really was thinking of being a “stewardess” for American Airlines.  One adjective was hope, for excitement and life at it’s stunning best…… that was my thoughts in the sixties……the reality was I went to high school and was working right after school at Jay’s Pizza House about a mile from school.  I would go home and change and then walk up to work and waitressed there until 10:30 pm weekdays and 1 am on weekends.  It was a way to see friends from school, have some laughs, earn money and stay out of trouble.  At times there would be rock bands playing downstairs of the pizza place and I would bring food down there and not want to come back to work.  It was exciting, and tiring all at the same time.  I worked from the time I was ten at Country Kitchen in Wyoming  Mn. where my sister and I washed pots and pans for fifty cents an hour.  Then when I was fifteen I worked after school at the Ben Franklin store as a clerk.  At seventeen I was doing both the pizza house and doing childcare too for my first “kids”  Ricky and Julie.  I worked after school until their Mom was done at 11:30 pm so I was always very busy.  My sister and I had to help our Mom pay the house payment as our Dad was absent because of alcoholism.  We didn’t really mind, we didn’t  have a choice.  Mom was not in the best of health from her smoking, she had emphasema, and worked only part time when she could.  Families pulled together, and made the best of it.  I got by acting as if everything was fine, and I never confided in friends of any difficulty.  Tried to look my best, do my best and be my best.  It was a time of responsibility in the face of adversity.  I felt valueable to mly family.  In school I took office classes typing, office practices, shorthand…home ec. and I loved speech and english.  I never once considered college when I graduated, I just knew I had to work.  I was in the High School Choir, and in Triple Trio, a group of awesome female singers, and in my senior year we won A at State for “The Sound of Music”….I still love the soundtrack from the movie with Julie Andrews singing it.  I was in the popular group of girls just barely….I was known for being engaged to a guy in Viet Nam, so most of the guys didn’t ask me out.  We weren’t actually engaged but were planning on getting married when he got home.   I did do some dating, but nothing like I probably would have if I was not involved with Steve.  The things going on in my senior year can be found here.  I never got into most of it, especially not drugs, or the hippie thing or hard rock music.  I guess I saw the effects of alcohol too much to ever want drugs or alcohol running my life.  I Pray that even though my children and grandchildren see their peers doing self destructive things to themself (and you know what they are) that you too will decide you don’t want that hideous stuff running your life, I thank God that somehow He protected me from the lifestyle in 1968, and it was kinda crazy, almost like today……but make a choice that will benefit your future family……they will thank you someday. 

In the beginning Steve and I met at Hub Drive In Theatre, where during intermission everyone was visiting friends in cars around the car you came in.  I was sitting on top of the roof of our car, when Steve came and lifted me on his shoulders to play war with another group of crazy people…..he actually pretended to be drunk because he was so shy.  We won the “war” and then he asked me my phone number, and I gave him a wrong number.  I knew my mom would think he was too old for me, 4 years  was alot when you are 15 and he is 19…But in a few weeks after trying the wrong number, he found the correct number, and my Mom’s friend Mary knew Steve and vouched for him…That was in 1965…..and we still are together (not on top of his shoulders playing war though)….that was really the last time he was so crazy silly.. I loved it , and I still love him after all these years. 

One month before others will be receiving thoughtful gifts from the heart, my daughter sent me this wonderful website…..you have made my day, and may I leave the legacy on this site you dreamed of…..Love Mom